And instead of a washboard stomach, they have washboard bottoms.Male buttocks over 50 are like dodos - they just don’t exist.

As they cuddled together in a gold-encrusted gondola, Sally Humphreys leaned in adoringly for a lingering kiss - from a man almost old enough to be her grandad. His thin, wrinkled lips were puckered like those of a man who had misplaced his dentures.

His crepey skin stretched across his thin, boney face, his sun-damaged hand reached for her slender knee, his turkey neck wobbled in anticipation of a night of passion. One can only imagine that when they did make love, Miss Humphreys laid back and thought of the Bank of England.

He’s not only dyed his hair, he’s also dyed his eyebrows.

But while this may knock off a few years when he’s dressed, when he revealed himself in all his wrinkly majesty, Ms Humphreys will have discovered that he’s not a natural brunette, if you catch my drift.

While so much is written about what happens to women’s bodies when they hit 50 (their breasts and bottoms head south, their tummies never recover from having children, they have stretch marks, cellulite and sagging flesh), very little is said about what happens to men’s bodies at a similar age.

Without going into too much detail in a family newspaper, let’s just say their wobbly bits droop as far and as fast as a mother-of-six’s breasts.

And he has offered it to many women, all young enough to be his daughters, since he separated from his wife of 24 years, Jo.

We’ve long become accustomed to the sight of fabulously wealthy and famous older men dating younger women, but when the age gap reaches more than 30 years, you have to wonder what the women can be thinking.

As I discovered recently at a gathering of thirty to fifty-something women who were all single and dating, a younger woman pays an especially heavy price to be with a much older man.

You only have to look closely at the picture of Ronnie Wood to see what they’re in for.

The pattern is always the same: rich, successful older man pairs up with unknown young woman.