Forget the days of the boxy, lumbering SUV - the CX-9 has a head-turning sleek exterior. Barnum style that features a battle royal with the melon-smashing suicidal ghost of comedy past.

For this week's Web extras and more Web exclusives , go to: Unsolicited submissions (including but not limited to articles, artwork, photographs, and resumes) are not returned. ROCKIN’ COMEDY Stand-up hijinks (Norman Wilkerson, Kat Williams, Suzanne Brown, and Hairy Melon) and live music (the Nematoads) down South Austin way.

@© web extra CHRONIC RE HIT BLOG This week: Back in black? POSTMASTER: Send address changes to The Austin Chronicle, P. 4 I THE AUSTIN CHRONICLE I JULY 27, 2007 I STARTS TODAY, JULY 26TH!

X HEARD about AN AMERICAN WOMAN whose husband ran OFF— so SHE STARTED AN OAf- LINE DATING SERVICE, AND Now SHE IS A TRILLION AIRE! The movie Is not funny; has production values a cross between home movie and hidden video, making it painful to look at; Ban Kingsley is miscast; the script deplorable; and the direction clumsy and, did I mention, unfunny? Spend your movie money and time on Paris, Je T'Aimel John Callaghan Black's La La La Attitude Dear Editor, Ranting about “conspiracy theorists” [“Page Two,” July 13), Louis Black shows the same lack of any sense of irony as the Republikanski faith- ful ranting about Democrats, With no shades of gray whatsoever, he lumps ail conspiracies and their believers into one tinfoil-clad gaggle, derid- ing them for thinking only in terms of black and white. This week: John Merriman of the Austin Film Festival. Cold Towne The mighty house troupe rocks your night with fierce improv as only they can create it.

He berates 9/11 loonies for focusing on one aspect of something and ignoring all else, then unilaterally dismisses talk of government involvement just because 9/11 had nothing to do with Iraq, I don't buy the inside-job line either, but "bin Laden determined to attack inside the U. The AIC Cage Match is where two improv teams battle for supremacy, right before your very eyes. Lovey & Lovey Coldtowners Tami Nelson and Michael Jastroch are a whiskey-sodden couple living the high life in this very funny sketch show.

mm Austin's METALSHITHS Fire It Up by Rachel Koper P.32 Vol» 26 Mo.

47 ★ July 27, 2007 SEE fl USWHfl QDICtf CQIll FOR BREAKING NEWS, DAILY LISTINGS, PAIN AND JOY IN MUDVILL£, W-5 BURN'S SPINNING FME, AND TH£ GOODBYES OF TAWMY FAYE WAL-MART MJm rgtin Hespcrsibae Gr^mt Ti Inr Ko Uhcrois SGH2 256MB 20GB WINIMWSKPPRO PHELOADED l- Dell Latitude C61Q 1.2GH2 512MB 30Gfi WIRELESS WINDOWS 20041 PRELOADED I THE AUSTIN CHRONICLE I JULY 27, 2007 I ,500 Off on Mazda CX-7, Kiplingers “Best New Crossover” Small Crossover Category / Dec. The Austin Mazda Dealers (Roger Beasley Mazda, Mazda South and Premier Mazda) are offering ,500 off MSRP on any new 2007 CX-7 in stock now through July 31, 2007. TUESDAY IMPROV JAM AT THE HIDEOUT You are invited to join the onstage action in this casual conflagration of improv warm-ups, games, and scenes and see what it’s like up there among the pros.

The buzz came and went, and the “major” Democratic candidates all have health-care plans that keep the daddy seat at the table for HMOs. Visit details 75% off all donated items 7434 Lamar Only M-F 9am-6pm Sat 8am-5pm 472-8788 The ORIGINAL Restore still open at 310 Comal I JULY 27, 2007 I THE AUSTIN CHRONICLE I 7 Tilt Htlll N V«lkl THOMAS ERIEPMAN, PRIVATE EYE .t M DIAL M MOUJTACHE THE DAME HAD A PROBLEM S° SHE CAME to ME, .. SO X STARTED WORKING MY USUAL SOURCES,,, HEY DRIVER --WOULD YOU SAY THAT A | RUNAWAY HUSBAND IS SYMPTOMATIC of SOME DEEPER SOCIETAL PROS- | LEM WHICH CAN ONLY BE SOLVED through Itftfc VATJVf THINKING COMBINED WTH Good ol D-FASHio NED | AMERICAN INGENU LTT? SOME SORT OF COUNTERINTUITIVE METAPHOR DERIVED FROM A FALSE PREMISE WHICH WOULD LEAD ME TO A GREATER TRUTH ! SAID I KNEW THE ANSWER— And x Doi ITS GLOBALIZATION l IN THIS INTERDEPEN- DENT WORLD, IT S THE ANSWER TO Bfg RT PROB- LEM — EVEN TOURS i SHE WAS So DAZZLED BY MY BRIL- LIANCE SHE FORGOT TO THANK M£ THAT HAPPENS to me A lot,,, ’ POSTMARKS :: from P.6 'You Killed Me' Killed Me Dear Editor, I read your film reviews weekly and find your what sound!

IB f£Tl1 WHAT X REALLY NEEDED to CRACK THE CASE WAS A CONCEPTUAL BREAKT, HRo UGH. I CAUGHT A FLIGHT TO INDIA AND Found a call center manager— WHO TOLD me a vert inter- esting ANECDOTE... like 20-something reviewers gener- ally on target, but Marrit Ingman's review of You Kill Me has little merit [Film Listings, July 13). The popular stand-up showcase continues, fracturing funnybones every weekend. Stool Pigeon features celebrity monologues, true stories, and an all-star cast of local improvisers.

S." makes refusing to investigate the pos- sibility that it was allowed to happen seem kind of silly, and the Manchukuo Incident and the Reichstag fire show that inside jobs can happen.

Using the most special generation's opposition to war in Vietnam to allege their hypersensitiv- ity to corruption is somewhat dubious, given the role of the Gulf of Tonkin “incident" in both building support for the war and grabbing uncon- stitutional war power for the executive branch.

Drg Help RG4N Stop Walmart- Donate at RG4(itvwide Walmart Boycott Still In Effect ELECTRONICS Dell Optip Eex GX270 Computer Package 2.6GHZ 1GB-RM 40GB-HD 19" MONITOR, KEYBOARD, & MOUSE CDRW WINDOWS XP PRO PRELOAD ED 40GB IDE Hard Disk Dell Optiplex GX1QO 566MHIZ 64MB 10B WINDOWS 9BSE PRELOADED Philips Home Entertainment Surge Protector Dell Latitude D600 PENTIUM M 1.4GHZ 256MB 30GB WINDOWS XP PRO WIRELESS Dell Laptop Carrying Case DELL LAPTOP & PC REPAIR Laptop LCDs From 14? Sale prices have never been better in Austin on the new CX-7.