It’s also hard, excruciating, joyful, hurtful, and incredibly fulfilling — at least this is what married people tell me, and from watching them, I believe it.

As important as it is to have standards and self-respect when choosing a mate, it is equally important to recognize how your steadfast adherence to lists may be more of a hindrance than anything else.

3 Mistakes You May Make When Looking For Love When I consider the millions of single people in this world who are searching for love, yet never able to find the right person, it makes me wonder if those lists don't have something to do with it.

Take for example, the list generated by a young blogger named Jessica Doyle. She wants him to have full lips, to be in shape and out of debt, to love his family and friends.

It's titled "What I'm Looking For in a Man," and it features 129 qualities—starting with intelligence, and moving quickly into the ever-important world of computer preferences. Many relationship experts and dating websites advise people to make similar lists so they might understand exactly what they are looking for in a mate.

The goal, perhaps, is to add a bit of logic to an otherwise illogical process of falling for someone, and a little logic never hurt anyone, right?

But what happens when even the lists become illogical? When the lists start bearing an eerie resemblance to those Build-A-Bear Workshops in the mall—only, instead of building toys, you're building fake human beings inside your head—fake human beings that you hope and pray actually do exist because THIS is what you want and expect, and the more you think about it, you just won't settle for less! And nobody especially wants to be seen as the type of person who settles, because those people are kind of pathetic, if you're really being honest.

Do not be afraid if it does not work out, you have still fulfilled your purpose in dating. Just because it happened a certain way for your older siblings or friends does not mean it will be that way for you.

For instance, some people fall in love immediately and they have a smooth dating experience.

It is not inappropriate; talking to someone does not mean you have a “crush on them” nor does it mean they have one on you. You do not need to flirt in order to have fun with those of the other sex.