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(That said, a potential partner who always insists on ringing you may have something to hide – such as a spouse.) Decide a time when you’ll be relaxed, rested, able to concentrate without interruption.
Don’t ring unexpectedly, certainly for the first few calls; everyone needs to be prepared and focused if conversations are to go well. The aim of the call is to build the relationship between you, and to judge whether, and how much, you want to take things further.
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A phone call will rule out a good number of your possibles – and while this may seem disappointing, it’s much better than spending time getting close to someone but then realising the moment you speak to them they are not for you. It’s courteous in heterosexual relationships for the man to offer the woman his number so that she isn’t revealing hers.
If you’re wary, give out your mobile number – which is easier to change than a landline if you then feel nervous about having confided it.
With these, the same principles apply as on a phone call, though seeing a potential partner’s face gives you more to go on than voice alone.
This stage begins to feel more like real-life dating than before, but still needs careful navigation.
If you are on a first phone call, suggest another one fairly soon – and then follow up with a positive email within 24 hours.
If you’re two or three phone calls in, it may be time to suggest a meeting.
If you do get that sort of email, once more console yourself with the thought that the more ‘no’s you get in online dating, the closer you are to that ‘yes’.