Write down how you can more successfully change the things you can and accept the things you can’t.

The most important attitude to leave behind is a stereotyping of future partners that might stop you from seeing beyond your past biases.

They want to stay positive and open, but often can’t help facing the next relationship more cautiously.

They valiantly struggle to keep their negative pasts from influencing their hopes for the future.

Though it may be totally understandable for discouraged daters to become bitter or cynical, they realize that those attitudes can put off a potential new partner.

Even though it is normal to use past experiences to help predict future ones, rigid expectations can keep you closed to possible adventures you have not experienced before.

Use your past for lessons, but don’t allow it to determine your future.

With so much advice available today, it would seem that most in the dating market would have been able to find the relationship they want.

Yet many people have enthusiastically studied resources on how to find a quality, long-lasting relationship, and still have not been successful.

"My Ideal Relationship" How would you describe a perfect relationship? How would you handle conflicts, crises, or disappointments together? "Personal Failures" This list is very hard for many people to complete, but it may be the most critical: Write down how you believe you may have contributed to past relationship failures (even if you believe your partners were more at fault).

Be as honest as you can about any of your personal liabilities as a partner: If you were somehow able to have every person you’ve ever loved or been loved by in the same room, and they were to be absolutely authentic, what would they say in common about you that ultimately caused them to give up on the relationship?

You can also gather real-life feedback from sources like honest friends or family members, mentors, and, of course, your own sense of who, and what, you believe a wonderful person truly is like.