And there certainly are times when people who go down this path find that it really wasn’t worth it.But if you’re wondering how to go about dating your friend’s ex, and you think the pursuit might really have potential, don’t worry, you are not a terrible person.

We all know the difference between a fling and something more. Why not just tell her that you’re going to date her ex? I imagine that most women like to have the same sense of consent.

A fling and something more is the difference between, “He’s kind of cute,” “It’s fun having someone to be with,” or “It’s certainly better than being alone,” and, “He’s so great; I feel like we really have a connection,” “We have so much in common,” or “I really think there could be something there.” This distinction is the most important factor in deciding if dating your friend’s ex is worth it. But either way, think about it: Would you rather be asked about something or told that something’s going to happen a certain way?

A buddy of mine recently mentioned that he might invite my ex to a party that we were going to and asked what I thought about that. And if you want to spend time with someone who has been “spaced” by a friend, that will very likely mean that you will then be spaced from your friend, too.

I was honest with him and told him I’d probably be less likely to go if I knew she would be there. I just wasn’t jumping at the chance to be around her. The question you need to ask yourself, then, is whether it’s worth it. I know men typically like to have control over situations or at least feel like we have control.

That being said, if you find yourself drawn much more strongly toward the ex, then it’s worth thinking about. Let’s be honest, she’s probably not going to be thrilled about it, however it happens.

If one of your biggest goals in life is to find someone to marry, I certainly wouldn’t dismiss something like that without some serious consideration. But the longer you wait before you take the initiative and bring it to her, the worse it’s going to be. There probably are some lines that can’t (or shouldn’t) be crossed.If that's not possible, spend as little time with the dude as possible.Great excuse to have a white wine-soaked girls night!The most important thing, as is true in most cases, is to be proactive, communicate clearly, and be thoughtful and considerate, especially when there are strong emotions involved. As a wise man once said, “So, you’re sayin’ there’s a chance?In case you are a subway Mole Person (or just have, like, not been reading for some inexcusable reason), Katy Perry, incredibly, has been rebounding from Russell Brand with John Mayer, which is The "Part Of Me" pop star's friends are reportedly worried, as one is wont to be when a loved one dates a man who's famous for being a womanizing idiot.The key to making a prudent decision here is to keep an emotional distance until you have made a conscious decision to move forward with your friend’s ex. We all want to be happy, and most of us are looking for someone with whom to live happily ever after.