Every visit, I’d leave not sure if I wanted to be with this person but as soon as I’d come home loneliness and nostalgia set in and suddenly I’m thinking “Well, it’s probably not as bad as all that. As much as I’m a non-confrontational person, I’ve tried to do some prodding about these issues, and I’ve been met with firm resistance. I don’t enjoy our time together in person, but maybe I just need to get used to it? Staying with her is easier, and safer, and better (so I tell myself). If I break things off now, I will have been wasting her time, for years.

I want to go out and do things, and she doesn’t, so I feel guilty for leaving and doing things without her.

Despite being in a long distance relationship for a few years now, the total amount of time we’ve actually spent together in person, getting to know one another adds up to mere weeks. The prospect of moving in together is rapidly approaching, and I’m totally lost.

The good news is that once you recognize these stalling tactics for what they are, you can learn to overcome them.

Here are some of the ways you make it so much harder to break up with someone… I’ll try to keep this concise, but I doubt it will wind up that way.

Pride doesn’t help in times like this, it only hurts.

The thing is, just sticking around doesn’t mean you’re a better person.

The fact that you were willing to overlook an issue – they smoke, they drink, you have different values, etc.

– in the beginning doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to break up with them over it later.

Essentially, I feel trapped in a long distance relationship.