For a lot of the men I have spoken to, it seemed counter-intuitive to them that any woman would ever find them attractive at a basic, fundamental level.They believed this feeling has to do with the social construct of "the chase" whereby women repress their biological desires and feign disinterest in the hopes that the more frigid their behaviour - the better her chances of scoring a "marriage of status".I should start with a disclaimer that I am not seeking to write about what it's like to be a man.

This is for me, at the very heart of the issue: that even the most well-meaning men don't recognise the damage they are doing to gender relations by continuing to make women responsible for the status quo, and fail to understand that women are as much a victim of this paradigm as they are: Men feel as though they are fundamentally inferior to women, and are unable to experience love.

I was surprised to discover many men said they related to Stephen Fry's comments and expressed envy of the simplicity of how things work in the gay community.

One person likened this construct to the old Road Runner cartoon:"The Road Runner cartoons neatly symbolise the dating game for men.

No matter how clever we are, we’ll catch her when she decides to be caught and not before.

Women have always been a handy scapegoat so why mess with consistency?

"It would almost be sweet if it weren't so atrocious - that these guys really believe the new paradigm exists.

Men - men are the ones who feel as though they can't be themselves? It is really sad that the dominant male paradigm has done as much harm to men as it has to women, but it's even sadder that women still cop the blame.

Though we're supposedly living in a post-sexual-revolutionary world, men still feel they can't trust that women are really "enjoying" themselves. When we are finally living in an age that embraces female sexuality (at least in theory), the men we most want to enjoy ourselves with don't trust that we're having a good time?

I can't begin to tell you how many palms to the face I took over this admission!

For centuries women have been told to repress their sexual desires, to lie, to fake it when they make it and generally do everything in our power to make sure men don't feel insecure.

I can't begin to tell you how sad and angry this makes me.