You’re likely to hit an “in an open relationship” status in the first 10 profiles you sift through. I find successful online dating blossoms when both parties don’t bring up sex and don’t speak in double entendrés before meeting.The expectation is pretty much “How far will we go on this date?Ignore the dick pic welcome wagon.” The stages of coming to terms with this phenomenon are different for us gays.

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Seeking a same-sex relationship online is no different than searching through Catholic Match.com, or to find your targeted niche.

Gay and lesbian singles need to understand what they hope to gain from their online journey in order to select the right dating site.

3) “Way too many people have the following profile pictures,” which I’ve tweaked for the gay community: 4) “When you do message someone, make sure your message is specific to them.

Also make sure that it treats them like a human being and not a potential masturbation aid.” This one doesn’t need to be gayed-up. 5) Norris’ fifth item talks about the men who troll for new profiles and welcome you by “proffering…template messages and/or dick pics.

Consider that first meeting after transitioning from talking online to be Austenian courting—this is the wooing, the dance scene where you meet the other leading male and decide if you want to start something with him.

The rest of Norris’ piece works for gay men—first online dates should be treated like interviews, and you likely won’t hear back from him. Maybe you don’t like the way he scratches his elbow.

Dana Norris wrote an awesome piece about the things she learned about online dating. But for gay men, some of the advice needs the Ru Paul Fabulous Makeover.

So, let’s see what we can add and change from her article to make it work for us. In my experience, 70% are dick picks, 20% are pics of a guy holding a camera up so you can see his face and his butt in the background—usually he is lying on his bed—8% are pics of him holding his butt cheeks and pulling them apart while (assumedly) someone else takes a picture of his rosebud (sorry, Orson Welles, but that’s what the gay community calls “that area” of male anatomy), and 2%…well, let’s just say they’re graphic.

Know what you’re comfortable with sharing in your profile and what you want to get out of meeting someone.

Don’t flirt and bring up things upon which you won’t act.

7) “Why isn’t the nice person you just met online emailing/texting/calling you back? A relationship is real once both people agree to enter into it and all of this online pinging/liking/winking/swiping/messaging is not real.” Yup. 8) “Sunday evenings are when online dating HAPPENS.” For us gay men, this is 2am on any day.