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North America is arguably a highly sexualized culture, but at the same time, sexuality is rarely talked about in an open, honest way.
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After reading these responses I began to wonder whether (and for whom) we allow sex to be important in a relationship.
article included statements of sarcasm such as, “According to [Chris] Mower, the vagina is the source of all of a man’s self-worth,” affording little sympathy to the idea that a man might feel unloved or undesired if his wife doesn’t want to have sex with him.
Critics rebuked the article for what they perceived as its focus on the “man’s perspective” and questioned the depression, weight gain and emotional distress that Chris linked to his sexual rejection.
Based on some of the responses, it was also controversial to suggest that a person has some responsibility in an ongoing romantic relationship to meet their partner’s sexual needs, perhaps especially when it is the male partner who desires more sex than his wife.
According to these theories, being motivated to meet a partner’s needs, and, at times, sacrificing your own self-interests for the sake of your partner or the relationship fosters commitment and satisfaction.
In relationships we often do things that we may not personally want to do to make our partners happy.
Had the article been about giving a partner a back massage when you are not in the mood or going to a partner’s work event when you would rather stay at home and relax, I doubt it would have been so controversial (regardless of which gender was meeting their partner’s needs).
Perhaps this is, in part, related to the taboo nature of sex.
She also studies the relational effects of new media, such as how technology influences dating scripts and the experience of jealousy.