This can be horribly traumatic and degrading for a survivor of power based personal violence to endure. Victim blaming can look different for male and female victims of assault. There is nothing anyone one can do, say, or wear that would "cause" sexual assault or make them responsible for being assaulted. Due to these false and dangerous stereotypes, many men who are attacked will never report their assault.

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Think about it, if someone had their apartment broken into and robbed, would you say this to them? You shouldn’t have left town, you know that’s very tempting to robbers, you were basically asking for it.” Most people would not respond in that way a victim of a robbery. These questions are meant to imply that by engaging in sexual activity or making a “poor decisions” (such as accompanying someone home alone or wearing a revealing outfit) the survivor was somehow deserving of this assault because “she was asking for it”. All of these stereotypes are completely false: anyone of any gender or sexuality can be assaulted and anyone of any gender or sexuality can be a perpetrator.

So if you wouldn’t say that to someone who had their apartment robbed, why are some people so comfortable saying things like that to the survivors of sexual assault? We hear it in the media, from authority figures, from our peers and friends…eventually people don’t even notice it because it’s so embedded in our culture. Allegations like this are harmful to the survivor and completely false. Assault has nothing to do with sex or attraction, it is an act of power, violence, and control.

Think about it this way: don’t you want to make sure that whoever you’re with actually wants to be there as much as you do?

In our society, most people grow up learning prevention tips to help them avoid sexual assault.

If you can't ask them for something as simple as their consent to what you're engaging in with them, then why are either of you even there?

Check out the links to videos below to learn about ways to be more comfortable asking for consent.- Then stop.” section for the appropriate language to use when supporting a survivor. While it may feel confusing to imagine sexual abuse having happened to you, there are many others that have experienced similar things.It can be very difficult to help a friend through recovery of a sexual assault. We recommend visiting sites like learn more information.So check out these suggestions for Risk Reduction:***Disclaimer: Regardless of how many risk reduction strategies you choose or do not choose to use, a survivor is never, ever responsible for their assault.There is nothing any person can do, say, or wear that makes them deserving of sexual assault.Victim blaming occurs when the victim of a crime is blamed for having that crime committed on them. ” “Well you were pretty drunk” “Didn’t you hook up with him/her last week?