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You probably know by now that having an Asian girlfriend is a rite of passage for all white men.

I recall the number of times that my non-white girlfriends and I have praised a white guy for having listened to us, for having genuine interest in us, for seeing us as a real people instead of objects.

So, as her white, Jewish (80% of the time), totally-secure-and-normal boyfriend, you better be prepared for when your girlfriend mistakes "soup or salad" for "super salad." And since Asians have eyes like gravy boats, her crying jags are bound to extend late into the night. STEP FOUR: Locking it Down If you've made it this far, then you know all the dirty secrets of dating an Asian girl. You know we pretend to love drinking, even though we turn into full-blown red-faced injuns when we do. (According to my mom, the tradition stems from the groom's family giving the bride's family a cow in exchange for her.) So, if you're going to marry an Asian, get ready to empty your pockets. Of course, because of this, my parents want me to marry a Chinese guy and my brother to marry a white girl.

I'm a pretty half Asian girl, and I know guys are attracted to me, but I wonder if they actually like me or they just want to hook up with me because they think I'm hot and exotic.

When you get there, look around: the best Asian girl to pick up will be the one wearing a hoodie and heels (there is always one). As she takes out her phone to tell you, you should make a nice comment about her phone flair (Asian girls always have some bedazzled jank hanging off our phones, usually a cartoon duck or a jade tiger). Asian girls will go on a date with anyone if she can tell a cutesy story about it later: "And then, after he saw my Keroppi keychain, he asked me out at Pinkberry! " STEP TWO: The First Date It doesn't matter where you take an Asian girl on a first date as long as you stick to the following topics of conversation: food, fashion, and making fun of other Asians ("So, your friends just stayed in and did math problems? However, no matter what you do, don't step on the yellow-fever land mine that is acknowledging the Asian fetish.

Yes, we all implicitly know what's going on here -- why else did America go to war in two Asian countries last century? Us girls all like to pretend that we're your first Far East foray.

When society has made the white person the ultimate pursuit, it teaches non-white women to be OK with feeling inferior, to be OK with being submissive and to be OK with being treated like shit.

Until white boys prove to me they’re worth more than a faded fuck, I refuse to take these fuckboys seriously anymore.STEP THREE: The Relationship If you get to the point now where you're dating an Asian girl, you better understand where she's coming from.Given our immigrant roots, most Asian girls endure a latent insecurity about everything from our boobs to our patriotism (both things that are just slightly there). But if you're going to lock it down and marry your Oriental princess, you must know one final thing: in Chinese wedding traditions, the groom pays for the wedding.Several weeks before, I confronted my housemate after I found out that we had both slept with Sam.In our rather casual conversation, we marveled at how his fuckboy reputation didn’t seem to match his quiet, passive demeanor.Do the majority of Caucasian guys actually consider long-term relationships with non-white girls?